Confessions of an idiot

This morning before I left for school, I remembered I need to put my passport in my bag to buy airticket; then I had a panic attack. All of a sudden, I remembered about my black bag which I couldn’t find for last two days. I thought my small bag was in my backpack, but on Saturday morning, I realized it wasn’t there. Since I’m a total ignorant person, I didn’t think much about it because I still had my wallet and my phone after all. Now my passport was in my black bag. Oh, no, it’s gone.

The anxiety of losing a passport when you are a foreigner in another country hit me. What should I do? I was so angry with myself for being so careless that I didn’t even realize that I had no passport for 2 days.

So on the way to school on a motorbike, I prayed and a song popped in my head.
“You are bigger than any battle I’m facing.”
A song that I heard many times playing on Klove radio but didn’t even know who sings the song. But the first line kept repeating in my head that “you are bigger than any battle I’m facing.”

Yes! For today, the biggest battle I’m facing is losing my passport. And my God is way bigger than my problem. So I had to choose… To be miserable or be positive. So for about 20 minutes, it was like a battle in my head.

I’m not saying it was easy for me to be positive. But I couldn’t blame anyone but myself for losing it. So I made a choice to be positive.

I had faith that nothing is impossible with my God. I sent text messages to my friends from church who I know for sure would be praying for me.

After the staff devotion, I talked to the school manager that I lost my passport. He then told me I should report to the police immediately. I informed my head teacher and asked a colleague to switch our classes and left to the police station.

At the police station, a very good looking policeman came and asked me what happened and I told him I came here to file a report for my lost passport.

Police: “Miss, when did you lose your passport?”
Me: “Ummm, I’m not sure. I think I lost it on Friday but I didn’t realize that I lost it until Saturday morning. So either Friday or Saturday morning. But most likely Friday.”
Police: “Can you make a guess? I need to put it in the report.”
Me: “Umm, may be 1:30 in the afternoon on Friday.”
Police: “Ok. Where did it happen?”
Me: “I’m sorry, Sir. I really am not sure where or how it happened.”
Police: “Where did you go on Friday?”
Me: “I went on a school field trip to Ancient Siam which is in Samut Prakan. Then I went to Asoke in the evening.”
Police: (trying to be polite by smiling but probably thinking in his head “what an idiot!”) “Well, if you lost it in Samut Prakan, you need to file it at the Samut Prakan police station. If you lost it in Asoke, you need to file it in Asoke police station.”
Me: (Looking lost and had no idea what to do next) “So, what should I do?”
Police: “Just mention that you lost it in Pattanakan; then I can file it for you.”
Me: “Ok. I lost it in Pattanakan then.”

After coming back from the police station, I tried to be positive for the rest of the day. I came back to my condo and I saw I got a notice that I received a package. How I wished a Good Samaritan had found my bag and mailed to my address! It would have been a good story to tell. When I saw the package, I was really happy. It was from my friend in the States who never fails to send packages every year at the beginning of the school, Christmas, and for my birthday. But I was quite disappointed that it wasn’t from a good Samartian.

Oh, how I wish I could go back to Friday and pay more attention to my backpack so I would know where I dropped it. I came back to my room and changed clothes. Wait a minute! What’s in my laundry basket? Oh my goodness… My black bag with passport inside of it! I was stunned! I couldn’t believe what I found. May be I was drunk from latte at Starbucks on Friday night. May be it was just me being oblivious as usual. I honestly don’t know what happened. But I felt like a complete idiot.

Filing for a report for my lost passport at the police station which was safe at home in my laundry basket the whole time.

Stories of my life! How many times had I left things unattentive?

1) The day I had to go to the US embassy in Yangon for my visa interview, I couldn’t find my ID. I brought my national registration card when I was 10 with me to the embassy which to my surprise, they allowed. I got my visa and applied for new ID before I left to the States. The day after I left, my father found my ID under my pillow.

2) I once left my phone on a plane after the plane landed in Colorado. When my friend who was waiting at the airport called, a stranger picked up and met up at the baggage claim. I didn’t know I left my phone until I saw my friend.

3) I left my purse in a bathroom in Narita airport in Tokyo with $2000 in it. I realized I left it just before the plane was about to take off. The airline contacted lost and found and they mailed it to my address in Bangkok. Nothing was lost. Not even a penny.

4) I left my wallet in Starbucks (PloenChit) and went to a bible study. I got a phone call later from my bank’s customer service after the staff from Starbucks contacted my bank. I didn’t realize that I left my wallet until I got that phone call from my bank.

Jesus, I don’t deserve your grace and mercy. I just need to learn to be more attentive. Thank you for loving such an idiot like me.


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6 Responses to Confessions of an idiot

  1. koini84 says:

    Wow! Funny reading all this but all the same I see God in everything. Isn’t God just so good despite you being an idiot he has protected all that belongs to you. He will surely not let the foot of the righteous slip. Nice article


  2. Oh Zarn! If you are an idiot…that makes a lot of us! Hehe. We all have those areas in our lives that make us feel like idiots, hah. (Like me when I get lost going somewhere I’ve been ten times already. 🙂 But God is prolly like, “Uh, you’re not an idiot. You’re human. What did you expect?” Praise God it doesn’t surprise Him when we make ridiculous mistakes. He knows our weaknesses and yet He still delights in us! So glad you found it, Zarni! To God be the glory. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • lwinzarni says:

      Yes! That’s the most beautiful thing about our God. He knows our weaknesses yet He delights in us. And His mercies are new every morning 🙂


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