It’s been four weeks since I started training for half marathon.
I’m a slow runner but I kinda love to run. And I get excited about running most of the time but just before I go out to run, my excitement turns into fear.
Here’s the battle I have to fight daily before I go out to run.
I have positive feelings about running throughout the day at work and I always aim to run more in my mind. But after coming back from work, I try to find excuses of why I shouldn’t go out and run but just sit on my couch and relax. I feel like my whole body is hurting, but I also know that it’s all in my head. I tell myself “Relax, I don’t have to do this. I can just sit on my couch and relax. Who cares for dropping this whole thing about half marathon?” After I convince myself that I don’t have to force myself to go out and run, I feel really good about it. It is a good feeling to realize that I don’t have to run; so I sit down on my couch. But the moment I realize that I don’t have to run, I also remember why I started running in the first place.
Right that moment, I quickly need to change into my running clothes and go out to run before I change my mind to convince myself again to sit and watch video clips on YouTube.
Although I feel so good every time I come back from running, I have to fight the same battle again the next day of not wanting to run again.
To be honest I still doubt if I could do half marathon. But I tell myself not to look at 21.1K at this point. I need to look at my weekly goal first. Last week was 10K and I did it. It took me 1 hour and 16 minutes to finish it but at least I finished it. My long run for this week is 12.87K. Will I be able to do it? I am not sure, but I’d like to try.
At this point, I’m trying to motivate myself by the above picture I found on Pinterest. I don’t want to give up yet on half marathon training although it seems like an impossible goal for now. But every day I ask the same question to myself…. to run or not to run.